For the Moms:
As mothers in Zion we have been counselled by church leaders to stay home with our children. No one can measure the impact that we have on our children's lives in our decisions to do so.
However, raising a family on a single income is becoming increasingly hard to do as the costs of living continue to escalate while the average income just can't keep pace. Therefore, many of us who want to stay at home with our children find ourselves in a position where we have to do something to make sure that our budgets stay balanced.
We discussed the following section of "The Family: A Proclamation to the World":
“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
Luckily we live in a day in age where many opportunities for generating income from home are available to us. However, we discussed the importance of the following warning from President Hinkley:
“Weigh carefully that which you do. You do not need some of the extravagances that working outside the home might bring. Weigh carefully the importance of your being in the home . . .” (“To the Women of the Church,” Liahona, Nov 2003,)
Anything you do to generate income will come at some cost to your family. Be very prayerful and careful when making your decision. Try to choose an option which you are comfortable with in terms of your talents and personality, will take you away from your home and family the least, and generate the most income for the least amount of time & energy.
We discussed the following options:
1) Using Previous Training/Education to work Part-Time:
Before we had children, some of us worked in careers and professions that we are able to continue on a limited part-time basis. Pros: we use training and education which we have already obtained, sometimes we can work in a "relief" type position, where we can choose our own hours at our convenience and work when we have/want to, but also don't have to work when we can't or don't want to. Ideally, shifts can be arranged during times when our husbands can be home with our children, so that we don't need to arrange and pay for child-care arrangements outside of the family. Cons: we often do have to work outside the home, taking us away from our families.
* If you have a professional designation that needs maintaining, be very careful and prayerful before you let it lapse. You do not know if a time will come in your future when your husband may be suddenly un-employed, injured, sick, or decide on a career change that may mean a period of retraining, or an income cut. You may have to be your family's primary bread-winner at some point, and the more prepared you are to deal with that, the better it will be for your family.*
2) Running a Home-Based Business:
Pros: there are seemingly a million different choices out there in terms of different businesses which you can run from your home selling everything from clothing, to cosmetics, to Tupperware which we can suit to our interests. Most of these are branched out under larger companies, and will have everything organized and ready for you to run with. Cons: this type of work often requires particular personality types to be successful (ie: persistence, forwardness, etc), and that you will often have to appeal to your own personal social networks, which not everyone feels comfortable with (ie: mixing business with family and friends). Often to be successful an individual has to dedicate alot of time and energy into growing their business. This may keep you physically present in your home, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually unavailable to your children if you allow yourself to become too consumed in your business activities.
3) Turning Talents and Hobbies into Income:
A few sisters in our group have done this in terms of photography and sewing. Tips include, obtaining as much training and education as possible to advance your talent so that you're really good at it! This can also help you to more efficiently produce a better product. Pros include: you have complete control over it and can often do as little or as much as you need to, when you want to. Also, because it is something that is already a talent, or hobby that you have, you are likely to really enjoy doing it. Cons include: having to advertise, (often just word of mouth is used), unpredictability of work and therefore income generated, having to turn people away if you get too busy, and adequately pricing your products to accurately compensate for the amount of time that you put into it.
4) Babysitting / Dayhome:
Pros: Your technically already doing this! Childcare is in high-demand, and if you are interested in this option you are likely not to have any trouble finding work. Also, providing childcare can create friendships and play opportunities for our children which can help to enhance their social skills. Tips: experiences with this option varied within our group from those who have had positive experience, to those who have had not-so-positive experiences. There are several different options available. If you choose to go privately, you have more control over what you do, can work under-the-table, and often set your own price. If you choose to go with a dayhome agency you are provided with substitutes if you fall ill, or need time off, and often can make more money as you are protected by the agency's rules, regulations, and fees. Other things you might be interested in are obtaining childcare certification through local agencies like the Family Center. Cons: looking after several young children can be very busy and exhausting. It sometimes feels overwhelming to be responsible for raising your own children let alone somebody elses! Often it takes time and attention away from your own children. Sometimes the personalities of the children you look after will clash with your own children creating alot of contention. If you don't have the ability to safely transport all of the children that you care for, you can be left feeling trapped at home.
5) Apartment Building Management:
If you are going to school, or do not own a home yet, this is a great option that can help with expenses and allow you to save for a home of your own. Responsibilities often include renting vacant apartments, acting as a liaison for tenant complaints and maintenance requests, collecting rent, keeping the building clean and orderly, shovelling snow in the winter and mowing grass in the summer, cleaning apartments after tenants have moved out (if they have failed to do so). Experiences with this can range from really positive to really negative. Often contributing factors are things like location of the property (is it in a high-crime, low-income area), size of the buildings and grounds (taking care of a larger building often results in a higher income earned, but also has more apartments to rent, more to clean, more complaints to deal with, etc) Pros: often little or no experience is required - you will receive "on the job training." Often you can earn enough money to equal your rent (live for free). Depending on the size and location of the building, and the efficiency of the systems you develop to take care of your responsibilities, it can be "easy-money" (ie: good money, for little time and effort). Cons: It can be stressful to rent apartments that sit vacant for too long, or to collect rent from tenants who might try to avoid you (collecting post-dated cheques is a good idea). Some tenants can leave an apartment in really bad shape, which it is then your responsibility to clean-up (can be ALOT of work). Can leave you feeling somewhat "tied-down" (can be difficult to find someone to take care of your building so that you can leave town, etc). Again, often your experience will be determined by the location of the building, the type of tenants it attracts, and the size of the building and property.
Once you own property, a few more options are available to you. We discussed the following:
1) Basement suite / Rental Property:
Pros: rent paid can help with your mortgage payment. Generally, it's fairly un-intrusive to your family, and is fairly easy money. Cons: Basement suites are technically illegal, unless they are located in an area zoned for multi-family living and comply with duplex standards (the vast majority of basement suites do not comply with these standards, although some are worse than others). Although it happens rarely due to a great need for affordable and low-income housing in our community, you could be fined by municipal or provincial authorities, if there are problems with your basement suite. You loose half your house. Collecting rent from your tenant can be stressful (especially if you are dependent upon it). It may also be stressful if you have trouble renting your suite and it sits vacant for longer than you are prepared for. Tips: Much of your experience will depend on what kind of person your tenant is - be choosey. Try to rent to someone who's values and standards are similar to your own. Become familiar with the fine print in the "Landlord and Tenants Act." Protect yourself by collecting a damage deposit, and have your tenant sign a lease. If your suite does not conform to legal standards, do your best to meet them.
*For other property rental, the information for basement suites as well as the property management information will apply*
2) Providing Room and Board to a Student:
Pros: Generally, all you need to do this is a spare bedroom, and you can charge close to, but just under what you would ask for a rental suite (thus making it a competitive option). Cons: is more intrusive, as you will have somebody (possibly a stranger) living in your home. Tips: again, you will want to be choosey. Try to find somebody who's values and standards, and maybe even personality are compatible with your family for greater success. Also, do not be afraid to make formal agreements on household duties, things like cleaning, dishes, etc.
3) Becoming a Home-Contractor / Room-Mate, or providing Respite Care To An Individual With a Developmental Disability:
Generally this type of employment involves having a person with a developmental disability move into your home and more-or-less join your family. You will need a spare bedroom, and it is nice to be able to provide the individual with their own bathroom as well. Duties and responsibilities will often be specific to the individual's needs, but will generally include: providing a safe space and environment to an individual with special needs (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc), meal preparation, assistance with that individual's particular needs (may involve personal care), helping the individual to achieve certain goals, sometimes assisting with transportation, providing emotional support, some recording / reporting monthly paperwork, obtaining training as required by the agency making the arrangement.
Pros: often, previous experience working with individuals with special needs is not required, but is helpful. Typically training is provided by the agency making the arrangement. Experience in nursing, education, psychology, or sociology is considered applicable. Income earned often depends on the level of needs the individual has, but can range from approx. $1000-$3000 / month (tax-free), plus compensation for room and board. Developing a close relationship with a person with a developmental disability can be a very rewarding experience to you and your family as well as a very positive step forward for our communities. Cons: Can be very intrusive - you are in alot of ways adding another person to your family. Can leave you feeling somewhat "tied-down," it can be difficult to get time off, or go away. The amount of training required will vary from agency to agency, but is generally mandatory, and can be scheduled at very inconvenient times. Tips: Much of your experience will be tied to the particular individual themselves (ie: what their personality, values, standards, needs, and concerns are). Be choosey. Get as much information about the individual from the agency as possible beforehand (don't be afraid to ask lots of questions). Try to find an individual who's standards, values, and personality are most compatible with your family. Be very prayerful and careful before entering into a contract. Be absolutely sure that the individual does not have any behaviours which could put your children or family at risk. Generally, finding a room-mate who participates in a full-time work, or day-program arrangement Mon-Fri is most convenient. This will leave you with your days to focus exclusively on your children. Also, finding an individual who has strong ties and a good relationship with their biological family is also ideal, as the family is then often willing to help out with the individual's needs, and provide breaks for time away, holidays, vacations, alternating weekends, etc (thus, you can avoid the complications and expense of arranging formal respite care).
*For respite care, many of the duties and responsibilities will be the same, but significantly less, as the individual will not be with you all the time. Pay of course, will also be less. Generally, arrangements will be made for alternating weekends, or for specific vacation time. If you are interested in becoming a full-time home-contractor but do not have any previous experience working with individuals with developmental disabilities, a good place to start may be in providing respite care, then you can get a good idea of what it's really going to be like without the full commitment. Also, it's important to be aware that individuals requiring formal respite care will often (but not always) have higher needs.*
4) Becoming a Foster-Parent:
In alot of ways this is very similar to option #3.
As we discovered, there are LOTS of things that we can do to earn money to help support our families - without having to abandon our hopes of being a stay-at-home mom. One of the important things to remember is that Heavenly Father wants us to be at home, to be able to spend as much time teaching, and nurturing His children as possible. As we understand our divine role as mothers, and put our faith in Him - He will help us to find a way!
“Just because you’re working at home doesn’t mean it will be easy. You still have to devote time to it, as with any job. But if you need to work, it may be possible to do it at home and thus be near your children, to love, train, and guide them during their infancy and adolescence. Many sisters further manage to avoid being away from their children by doing their work before the children get up in the morning, during nap time, while they are at school, and after they go to bed at night.
The biggest advantage to working at home is that you are there to share in your children’s excitement at new discoveries, to comfort them when they’re hurt, to be with them when they’re lonely and need to talk, to be around to answer those hard questions when they come home from school.
Thus, many mothers are both able to earn necessary and required money and to be with their children to love and teach them in the years that they are home. And it’s impossible to put a money value on a choice mother-child relationship.”
(“Making Money at Home,”Alison Craig, Ensign, March 1977)
*If you have interest in pursuing one of the particular options mentioned above, please talk to Abby, and she will be able to tell you who you can talk to for more information.*
For the Tots:
The mommies ended up having sooo much to talk about that tot-time ended up being cut a little short, but the kids had a great time enjoying lots of free-time to play together, and snacking on banana muffins and cheese-strings brought by Sis Palmer.
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